Issues

Ok- I am kinda hot. I love my sister I really do, but I don’t think we have that sisterly relationship that other people do. Like I don’t feel like I can tell her anything. I mean nothing. Everything I tell her she makes this face ..a really judgemental face. I don’t know why I even keep telling her stuff. I swore that after she ratted me out to mommy about me and Ant Hub going to newyork alone almost 2 years ago that I would not tell her anything else. But yet I continue to. I feel like a sister is someone you should be able to trust any secret with and tell anything to but that is so far from the case with us. I’m also tired of snide remarks being made about the truth. It’s like my family thinks just because I am a witness I am not allowed to say, or do anything slightly imperfect. Not even slightly. Like I’m not perfect.. I make mistakes, Jehovahs people are not perfect. For instance I was telling her that someones husband was flirting with me this weekend and it was inappropriate. Even though he was joking I found it to be in really bad taste. I made mention that “no they arent witnesses” because I know her first thought was that they were and OF COURSE like clockwork a snide comment was made “well actually it would not have surprised me if they were”…it’s comments like that. Ok she probably has reason because of what my ex husbands brother did back in the day but seriously? Every single last thing does not need a snide comment. This is another reason I want to move away. I feel so claustrophobic around my family and it drives me crazy. I don’t want to see them every….single….last…day. I need breathing space and breathing room. UGH!!!! When I start dating I swear I’m keeping this one a secret for a long time until it gets really serious. But back to what I was talking about , I’m just tired of having to predict and shield myself from those responses and looks.

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