Hello there! SO let me take a moment out to catch up. sorry I have been MIA (missing in action) but I honestly have not felt like writing. Lol. What’s new? I have a new car whoooo! And to add sprinkles on the cake no car payment! Whooo!! Now granted I have to pay 4g’s and $30 biweekly comes out of my paycheck but that is a lot better than the $295 car payment and $200 insurance that was aiming a gun at my head when I was about to get a mazda. I am so happy I didn’t either. I have the same car I had before but this one is yellow and in tip TOP shape. And a Stick Shift. Why is it when we really want something we go into this mathematical craze and create allowances in our budget that does not even exist. All reality goes out the window. Example: Man I was this car and I can have it if 1.) I get a part time job 2.) I cancel my cable 3.) I don’t splurge on anything (no shopping) 4.) I don’t eat. Yep! Sounds easy enough! That is the type of craze we all go into when we are determined to have something. But I tell you one thing. I counted the cost and crunched the MESS out of my budget. I decided that a CAR is not worth me digging a deep grave. Also when you buy a car you are stuck with that thing for 6 years. You also end up paying almost double for it after interest. It doesn’t help either that I have tickets on my record. That made my insurance about 150 more dollars a month that it should be if I didn’t have it. I’ve been driving so good since my last ticket. People are probably surprised that I am not a old lady when they drive by me.
So me and ant are friends again. (Hubbard that is) I mean it’s cool. I like it a lot better this way. I mean A LOT. If someone is not going to be what I need or want them to be for me , or they do not want to meet my standards of what I think I deserve, then don’t talk to me every day. Just check in. Hit me up every few weeks and say hi, or every few months. The area I am vulnerable in is someone’s actions contradicting their actions….If that makes any sense. To explain: Do not text me everyday all day every hour of the day , but do not come see me. That is contradicting your good actions with bad actions. They don’t mix. Follow through or do not start. I am so good a being friends to a male. I just do not like mixed signals. So we are cool now, we say hi here and there and it’s perfect. No mixed signals, no drama, peace. Platonic bliss.Lol
I’m on the search for another job. Everyone that knows me knows that I am searching for anything outside of the DMV. So I figured why not a career change too? I was in banking for a while, then claims, then sales. I think I have a great mix to make me an awesome candidate for anyone. I also really like how a lot of companies are now saying “Bachelors degree or equivalent experience”. I have the utmost confidence that I am a beast when it comes to experience. I mean what haven’t I done?? I’ve worked at Wachovia, Bank of America, State credit union, (almost got a job with the government but didn’t have a car when I was married.ugh) Claims and researching, and last but not least SALES and everything that comes with that. Proposals, liaison, outreach, typing letters, correspondence, building relationships, managing 2 different territories in Va, being the face of Anthem at broker meetings, hellooo! So show me more money. I deserve it. I want a job where I can actually save some money or put something aside. Not live paycheck to paycheck. So yea the search is on baby!
So the brothers stopped me the other day at the meeting on my way out and said “Janay we would just like to tell you we have been observing you and we are so proud and you look very nice and modest at every meeting now. Keep up the good work!!” – That made me so happy. It made me SO happy that I went with my gut and just submitted to the counsel. Like I said, even though I did not ‘like’ how it was delivered the message was still there. I needed to work on my appearance. I am more cognizant of it now than I have ever been. I would never want to be ‘that’ girl that stumbles any brother within the congregation. I still dress very nice but have tailored my dress and wear longer shirts. Lol I also still shake my head at the women that go on stage with these shorrtttt skirts and skin tight mess but I said “Janay hush…just stop. Worry bout yaself and do you and what you know to be appropriate” and I woosah and continue listening to the message. I want to get better at personal study. I’m still not there yet. I need a push. I know that is what is holding me back and always has held me back from getting closer to Jehovah. What I really want to research is marriage. My view of it now is, yea I want it but I have not seen anything remotely close to what I want. Nothing and I mean NOTHING makes me feel like omg I got to have him. Ugh that bothers me so bad. I want that feeling again! But then I think to myself ok Janay “People complain when they get married about how quickly that fades”. So maybe I am chasing after a high that no longer exist because I do not have a immature view on marriage anymore. I’m looking for that same feeling I got when I was 14 which CANNOT be real because I am now almost 26 and MUCH smarter. SO I have to keep telling myself that to stay sane. I know I am not the only one that feels that way. I can’t be. So I just need to stop focusing on it so much and remember the reality. I’m human though. At least I know I am doing this by choice. Some sisters are just single and crave it. That’s one last stress that I have.
My jewelry business is kind of slow now. But I am not putting A LOT into it until I get a better website and a logo. I only want to portray the best. So I will be updating on that. In the meantime my website is Www.Jewelrybyjanay.com . It’s my baby! Haste makes waste though so with time…with time.
So my job is having a Christmas party tomorrow. I told them last year that I could not go because of course I do not celebrate Christmas. So this year I said the same thing. Actually the top dog sent out an email about it and you had to respond yes or no if you were attending. So I hit decline and told her I would explain it at a meeting we were having the next day. So she didn’t say anything else about it at the meeting. SO my boss comes up to me the next day and says “Hey (top dog) says you will not be able to make the party. We have a very important business segment that is going to be involved so you need to be there. I will talk to you more about it later.” Soooooo that was my cue that I have to go. This “meeting” also is about a hour away at some country club so we have to travel to it. Double NO. Grrr.. I was just like ok. I mean what can I say to that? Once they throw business into it , since it’s happening during the work hours I have to go. Funny thing is though after this “meeting” everyone gets to go home. Last year while everyone was there I had to stay in the office for my regular hours. I don’t know if that was a sly way to say “you should have gone to the party or you wouldn’t have to be here” or if anyone even expected me to stay or if they just forgot to say “oh yea Janay you don’t have to stay the whole day”. I didn’t care either way. I just turned my music up and Jammed the whole day. So this should be interesting to say the least. One of the people I support asked me if I accept gifts for xmas because she couldn’t remember. I said I give and accept gifts throughout the year for example: baby showers, house warming, weddings, graduations, ect ect but not for holidays or birthday traditions. She never responded but I know she respects it nonetheless. Butttt that’s it. See why I take so long to write a post? I can never just say hi and bye. And to think! I hate talking in depth to strangers! Haha. Let me finish this work up. I’ll holla!