Laughing and Hyperventilating

My friend came over yesterday to stop me from killing someone. Lol. I had had enough of someone and their questions and it seems like it’s a never-ending cycle I end up in. I’m good now though. I’ll just fall back for a while. I’m laughing though because he always seems to lift my spirits. Love that guy. Anyways…. I’m going on some party bus at the end of March. I’m only going because my friend is getting married. Otherwise I would never get on one. I have had really bad experiences drinking around these people, not that they are bad but they can handle and hang a lot more than I can. I can’t keep up! The peer pressure is too much haa. SMH Well actually It’s my fault..wont blame anyone else for me not knowing my limit. I will make sure I only have a few beers. Being in situations I have realized I cannot mix beer and liquor. There ya go! . Funny how age 21 we couldn’t wait to drink and go out now I’m like ehhh nah I’m good. I’ll just go to the corner store haha. OH! TOMORROW MARKS THE DAY I CAN RENT A CAR WITHOUT PAYING EXTRA FEES!!! I’ll be 25 SOOO excited. Lol. Man! I have wanted to rent in the past but the total ended up being like and extra $100 sometimes just for being under 25. isn’t that some bull ?! I get my car out the shop tomorrow too. It only came to $380.00 Hallejuerrrr!!!!! I was hoping it didn’t go over $500. WHEW that was a close call. I get my bonus next week so I’ll be ok. Just have to lay low for a while.

::Moving On::

I know I have been going back and forth a lot about this issue lately.. but I think it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it. I think it’s a simple fear of not taking risk or not being used to anything other than one person or one type of person. I’m scared of letting something good get me because maybe deep inside I feel like I’m only worthy because of what I’ve had in the past and that’s why I’ve only gotten what I’ve had in the past which is crap. I have an eligible fantastic guy in front of me and I’m not leaping. I need to leap. Ministerial Servant, loves Jehovah, Great Job, Mature, Mutual and great friends, Love the same things, same shows, same activities, family looks welcoming and sweet as all outdoors, he adores the mess out of me more than anyone ever has, we have been friends for forever and a day it seems, I have no doubt in my mind that he would stray or even look another direction, no foolery connected, reputation does not precede, I mean I can go on and on about the good qualities of this dude man. Why am I not dating him? That is what boggles me. It’s me. It’s not him. He has every single last quality a spiritual man can have and that the bible sets out a spiritual man should have. Point blank black period. That’s all I have to say for now. I’m so hot and cold it scares me. It is possible for someone to “correct you”? Idk..

Oh and let me revisit something, the other day I don’t think I was “love sick” I think I was just feeling woe is me about my past being effed up. So lets disregard that mess with my ex. Thanks LOL


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